Desperate
by LovelyMasoka
Summary: It was useless to touch anything from this time. Lucy welled in self-pity as she mourned her happiness. Spoilers for 312. NaLu


More Future!Lucy x Natsu. XD This is one of my Christmas presents to Rusky, it was a prompt she gave me and it turned out very well and wanted me to post it. I hope everyone enjoys it as well.

Beta: Rusky

(c) Mashima

* * *

It was awkward, being around all of them again. It was also very painful, but it filled Lucy with happiness, to feel for a moment that none of this happened and it was all a bad dream she had lived.

But then, she would see _them_ and it would hit Lucy that she was an outsider, that these weren't _her_ friends or guild, that she was there to prevent something and only that and she would not be needed anymore and would leave back to her present.

She avoided thinking about it, to prevent herself from remembering those experiences and the promises she made and just, for a moment to relive her happy memories.

"Lucy." A deep and serious voice came from behind her. It was night and she was staying in well-her room with her present self, which was kinda awkward. She turned around, surprised to see Natsu standing there, his expression showing concern. One that she hadn't seen much but was still fresh in her mind, but that was in another time.

"Ah…Natsu." Out of everyone he's one that seemed to have avoided her when it wasn't necessary, like he didn't trust her. Which she didn't blame because that attitude made her feel the most at home, knowing that no matter what, Natsu was Natsu althought it was the thing that hurt the most at the same time. "Do you want to know something?" she shifted her body and held her cloak close to her. It was the one that she didn't remove if she didn't have to, the stares and questioning eyes isn't what she needed, she had enough with the scared look her other self-wore.

"I want to see your arm." His blunt and serious tone almost made Lucy fall over from shock. It was to be expected, it was Natsu, of course, but some tact would have been nice. Lucy laughed at those silly thoughts, tears starting to shape into her eyes as she laughed. Natsu watched her confused but she couldn't stop.

It was the first time she had laughed in what was months or years, she wasn't sure anymore. But it caused her chest to explode in pain, since her body wasn't exactly healed from the travel and previous injuries. She wiped her eyes and looked at him, who seemed a little shocked and concerned as he was about to touch her.

"Okay." Her voice soft as she struggled to undo her cloak, but was stopped when his hands, big and strong and a touch too familiar a part of Lucy wanted to break down then; wordlessly and with a kindness that was sincere, almost rare in this way, he helped her remove the cloak to reveal her top body covered and wrapped in bandages. Only her healthy arm was fine from the elbow down while her torso, chest and neck were covered in white bandages, as well as her injured arm.

He looked at her and Lucy nodded and slowly he touched it. Lucy made no movement nor sound, any feeling she had in that arm was now gone, it was dead. As she watched as he closely examined it, wondering if he would notice it. His body was so close to hers, if she wanted she could lean her forehead against his shoulder, and take in his scent.

And this is what she did, unable to hold herself back any more like she had been trying to the last few days. Natsu stiffened when he felt her against him, his temperature rose and his heart began to pound slightly faster; it was strange being around this Lucy, since it was Lucy but wasn't, her dark future felt all too real when he touched her arm, or what was left of it...

"How did this happen?" his voice low as he moved back to look at her, trying not to stare at the tears that poured down her face.

"I can't tell you." Her voice soft and weak, Natsu moved his face closer, his hand griping her dead arm.

"You want our strength but you can't tell us about the obvious dark magic coming from your arm?" his voice dangerously low but as much as it hurt to hear that from him, she understood. He has always been protective of their-**his** nakama and what she told was only natural to be wary of, especially with the dark magic surrounding her, just like he suspected.

"I'm sorry..." she said as she lifted her good hand up and touched his face, "but that is something only Lucy should know." And with that she saw him calm slightly but not move as she stared at him, "Can I touch you?" He blinked confused as he started to open his mouth, she just shook her head. "Just touch your face, please?" It felt pitiful to ask like that but there wasn't much she could do in such a vulnerable moment.

He nodded, watching her in a cautious manner as she started to trace his features; it was like a living memory, or dream. None of it felt real so as Lucy moved closer he didn't really connect it and neither did she until their lips touched.

It wasn't a romantic kiss; it was a desperate one as she pushed her lips against his and dug her fingers in his scalp. Like she was trying to capture a moment that she didn't quite remember or want to remember but needed it. Natsu's heart pounded loudly against his chest, his feelings for Lucy were complicated but seeing her like that, to know what happened and he had failed, made something burn in him as his hands moved up and cupped her face, returning the kiss.

She was the first to break apart and the shock in her face startled him a bit. Did he make the wrong move?

"I can't." Was all she said as she moved away, taking her cloak with her and leaving the room as she bite her lip.

There were some things she needed to change at all costs but **that **was one she shouldn't have touched, not in that manner.

Is this how it felt to betray yourself in the worst way?


End file.
